tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post1497636846617027089..comments2024-01-06T10:11:00.258-08:00Comments on Honest To Betsy: Looks Like Pebbles Acts Like BamBamBetsy B. Honesthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14304239761034117602noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-21007109642399380572011-09-09T20:52:42.908-07:002011-09-09T20:52:42.908-07:00I adore this post! My 16 month old twin boys are ...I adore this post! My 16 month old twin boys are in a fighting stage, one in particular really bites the other, my boys are so like Mama Mo's. One more verbal and gentle, one quieter but stronger and more physical. These are my 3rd and 4th and I learned very quickly with my first that hitting a child in attempt to teach them not to hit felt kind of insane! :) <br /><br />Overall I feel like it's just a very normal stage for children of all genders and a supreme opportunity to teach gentleness. I try to catch the bite/push/hit in action and redirect to a gentle touch or move into making a game of another activity involving similar forceful physical motion but without injuring anyone. Eventually they stop.<br /><br />I love what Gappy echoed from your post "Just a simple, 'Stop. I don't like that. You can't treat me like that.' It stands them in good stead." I have taught this to my kids, to look right at someone and protect their personal space, being strong and assertive, not allowing someone hurt them and if they do anyway - vocalizing that it is NOT okay!<br /><br />I have had only one instance where my child was dangerous on the playground....he is normally so sweet I don't know what happened that day but I'm chalking it up to temporary demon possession. He was out of control over a toy rocket and I was really grateful all the other moms at the playground were so kind to me, it was crazy. Best of luck working it out with your friend. Love your blog Betsey!MrsKatherineAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00916075854163083380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-21385291217353223752011-08-04T22:50:02.957-07:002011-08-04T22:50:02.957-07:00Oh, and a toddler in high heels??? WTF?Oh, and a toddler in high heels??? WTF?Gappyhttp://www.gappytales.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-54200687349839331172011-08-04T22:48:17.267-07:002011-08-04T22:48:17.267-07:00Love this post Betsy - brilliant.
I've seen t...Love this post Betsy - brilliant.<br /><br />I've seen this dynamic play out so many times between small children, including my own. It's never too late to teach our little girls to be assertive, and to protect themselves. <br /><br />Just a simple, 'Stop. I don't like that. You can't treat me like that.' It stands them in good stead.Gappyhttp://www.gappytales.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-80517616853827950232011-07-25T18:18:57.044-07:002011-07-25T18:18:57.044-07:00You're right - that is different. I would hav...You're right - that is different. I would have trouble moving past that too.Bibliomamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11825424183978181238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-13732436461768216362011-07-19T21:59:06.058-07:002011-07-19T21:59:06.058-07:00The last time those boys saw each other mine went ...The last time those boys saw each other mine went up to her's and gave him a gigantic hug with affection just gleaming out of him. It was sweet.<br /><br />I'm the only one who seems to have trouble moving past it. I just feel so judged.<br /><br />But of course, there was more going on. She is heartbroken that her husband says no to more children. And she just seemed so irritated with me for not making it look easier. She was just so annoyed with me for being tired, run off my feet, overwhelmed, exhausted, and instead of sympathy I got a lot of "you are obviously doing everything wrong. I would do much better." That's not what I needed from her. And I felt so very judged.<br /><br />Also, there's a big difference between "wailing on" and what was going on there. It was like a gesture of a shove triggered this huge drama that I was somehow supposed to be responsible for.<br /><br />Sigh.Betsy B. Honesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14304239761034117602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-90429513456158678182011-07-19T10:10:01.076-07:002011-07-19T10:10:01.076-07:00This is a great, thoughtful post. I'm not sur...This is a great, thoughtful post. I'm not sure where I come down on all of it, because some of it mirrors my own experience (from the other side) and some of it doesn't. We had a family we were close friends with whose son always whaled on Angus when we went over there, and it did cause tension, not because I thought she wasn't doing enough, but for the simple fact that my son didn't really enjoy going over there, they would be embarrassed when J hit Angus, and I would wish that Angus would stand up for himself (we did eventually teach him the NO and holding out his hand, but we were slow). We did all get drunk once and the man called Angus a sissy and I told him to get stuffed, but they both grew out of it and we're all still good friends. But we had a family where the girl was aggressive too and I didn't really see that difference (maybe she just wasn't as cute as your daughter :)). I do sort of sympathize with the mom whose kid was getting hit, but I also see your point about not wanting to give him any attention for hitting. As for the Mom in the playground, she was just a douche.Bibliomamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11825424183978181238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-24433815065571432442011-07-19T05:56:58.738-07:002011-07-19T05:56:58.738-07:00I LOVE your blog! Love it, love it, love it.I LOVE your blog! Love it, love it, love it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16387237048303201717noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-1823530157906986682011-07-18T20:22:44.535-07:002011-07-18T20:22:44.535-07:00I know there aren't so many of us perhaps...bu...I know there aren't so many of us perhaps...but I find the same things at the park. Parents who oftentimes find themselves a huge part of the "play" that's taking place. And when I say "play" I'm talking about learning. I LOVE the part where you note your friend's daughter finally finding the space and purpose in herself (which of course is part of why we should be going to parks anyhow...to interact with others and learn how it all works). Beautiful self-empowerment moment. And of course the perk of that (two friend mama's enjoying wine without the ensuing drama of emotional battle/confusion) is what a mom lives for, right. To get together with friends and actually leave having connected with someone ourselves. Love it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-27028329019366486722011-07-18T19:11:41.560-07:002011-07-18T19:11:41.560-07:00I'm trying to orchestrate this same dance betw...I'm trying to orchestrate this same dance between my 17 month old twins. Jack is aggressive and rambunctious. But not mean. He's still a baby, learning limits and the unspoken rules of social interactions. Gus is quieter, and less prone to physicality. It would be very easy to punish Jack constantly, heaping shame and "No"s upon his curly head. It would be likewise as easy to teach Gus that the role of victim is a great way to get attention and kisses galore. But I don't want my son to be taught shame, nor do I want my other son to be taught learned helplessness. I'm still figuring out how to balance this, modeling empathy and how to stand up for one's self. I'm also trying to model how to do it for my family. <br /><br />I love the vignette style of storytelling.Mama Mohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08554633560302397335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4354869131367567263.post-82551027592002445512011-07-18T17:57:03.991-07:002011-07-18T17:57:03.991-07:00My daughter made a little teletubby-esque sound of...<i>My daughter made a little teletubby-esque sound of surprise and delight.</i><br /><br />That, I think, is my favorite part of the whole story. It's like she's been wanting to meet her match all along. Plus there's this recognition that being her match doesn't necessitate hitting back — it just means sticking up for oneself.Rachael @ The Variegated Lifehttp://www.thevariegatedlife.comnoreply@blogger.com