Dear HERS Foundation:
But I didn`t find a single source that advised anything but a hysterectomy for cervical cancer. It was obviously the right decision. Early detection and surgery almost certainly saved my life.
A little over a year ago today I spent my nights nursing my newborn to sleep then surfing the internet for information about my pending hysterectomy. I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer and while the carcinoma was microscopic, in situ, and promptly removed, my doctor urged me to complete my young family as soon as I could and then to have a hysterectomy. I was pregnant within a week or two, and so found myself a year later with three small children, two of them under two years of age, still reeling from the health scare, and absolutely overwhelmed by the prospect of a major gynaecological surgery that would leave me unable to care for my babies on my own for more than a month.
We sought several opinions from several sources -- other doctors, books, and the internet -- and I made a profound effort to arm and empower myself with as much information as I could.
That's what I`m like.
I research.
I read.
I ask questions.
I do not take medical interventions lightly. I think wholistically. I prefer natural solutions to surgical or pharmaceutical ones. I'm skeptical of the modern medical system's commitment to women's overall well-being. These are the same reasons I chose midwife attended waterbirths for my three babies.
That's what I`m like.
I research.
I read.
I ask questions.
I do not take medical interventions lightly. I think wholistically. I prefer natural solutions to surgical or pharmaceutical ones. I'm skeptical of the modern medical system's commitment to women's overall well-being. These are the same reasons I chose midwife attended waterbirths for my three babies.
But I didn`t find a single source that advised anything but a hysterectomy for cervical cancer. It was obviously the right decision. Early detection and surgery almost certainly saved my life.
It has been one year since my hysterectomy and this post is for any soul out there who is about to undergo a medically necessary removal of their uterus and is wondering the following things:
Will I be less of a woman after I have a hysterectomy?
Will I be ugly after a hysterectomy?
Will I never want to have sex again after a hysterectomy?
Will I still be able to orgasm after a hysterectomy?
Will I be a husk of my former self after a hysterectomy?
Why might a woman be convinced of these things? Because the activist(s?) at the HERS foundation have spent a tremendous amount of energy spewing vitriol all over the world wide web so that women like me, who read and research on the internet, expect these consequences and worse. Their objective, besides selling books and DVDS, is to make sure women are terrified of having hysterectomies for any reason. According to HERS I would wake from aenesthesia an unrecognizable shadow of my former self, castrated, stripped of my sexuality and my ability to ever enjoy sex again. Not only that, but HERS adds for good measure, I will probably be startled to find that I love my children less because my body, without a uterus, will be unable to produce the hormones needed for "maternal feelings."
These are the things that had me crying on my pillow night after night leading up to the removal of my uterus. I was terrified. Like, sobbing into my pillow so the baby wouldn't be woken by my wailing kind of terrified. Though now that I've been through the surgery and the recovery the dire warnings of the HERS foundation seem almost laughable. Almost. They caused me so much anxiety.
Now, HERS foundation, I'm asking you nicely, please stop being such an asshole on the internet.
It's not that I have any doubt that hysterectomies are over-utilized in Western medicine and it's not that I don't think activism and education about this subject aren't valuable. I respect your mandate of educating women about our bodies and our medical options.
It's your methods that really piss me off.
I certainly believe that women should research any major medical procedure to the best of their abilities prior to consenting to it. Learning about our options is our right and our responsibility. But the HERS foundation, under a supposed mandate of "educating" women is actually hindering our access to medically relevant information by spreading so much misinformation and crap.
HERS claims, for example, that a women without a uterus can't manufacture oxytocin, the love hormone responsible for maternal bonding. They are wrong. Oxytocin is produced by the hypothalmus. If one needed a uterus to manufacture it, men wouldn't have any in their bodies, but they do. This is just one example in a long list of crimes against science the HERS foundation has perpetrated in their "informational" materials.
These "facts" and this awful video by the HERS foundation insists that without a uteurus a women's torso will slump and balloon, her vagina will probably turn inside out and hang down her leg, and she will almost certainly gain thirty pounds while she ponders suicide and leaks feces.
I'm not recommending a hysterectomy to anyone who doesn't certainly need one -- it's no cake walk, Baby. If I could be whole again, I would be. But I'd rather be alive. And a hysterectomy did not make me ugly. It did not make me less of a woman -- I am still 100% woman. It did not destroy my sex life or my ability to orgasm, it did not make me love myself or my children less. I can still run 5K (without, I might add, leaking feces), I can still breastfeed (without, I might add, pondering suicide), and while I don't at all keep up with the housework, I really can't blame the surgery.
There is quite a bit of calm, neutral and sometimes reassuring information out there for women researching hysterectomies. But HERS-formation oozes through the cracks on message boards, on blog comment sections, and on wikis. There were warnings from so many people who said a hysterectomy ruined their sex drive, their life, or their wife.
"My wife was a beautiful, vibrant sexy woman before her surgery. Now she's a withered shadow, an empty husk of the person she once was. I would do anything to go back in time and stop the surgery. I would do anything to have my beautiful wife back."
I started to notice odd similarities though -- not just in the experience being described but in the unusual and repetitive turns of phrase, such as "empty husk" that these apparently diverse sources would use to talk about their experience. Then I started noticing crazy turns of phrase, like "you should kiss the ground the HERS foundation walks on." It eventually became apparent that many of the users on, for example, this Health Board for hysterectomy discussion (Mollyfox, Elaine333 and Triple777) are most likely the same person.
The talk page at the back-end of the Wikipedia article on hysterectomy shows a long, persistent struggle between persons trying to keep the page factual and neutral and someone who keeps changing the text to make it scary and confusing. This person would add, for example, the phrase "female castration" whenever possible and contribute all manner of tangents.
"It reads like an anti-hysterectomy manifesto," one Wikipedia contributor noted.
"This article seems to have a very serious POV problem," noted another. "It looks like its been "got at" by an activist of some sort."
Indeed.
Please stop being such an asshole on the internet.
There is quite a bit of calm, neutral and sometimes reassuring information out there for women researching hysterectomies. But HERS-formation oozes through the cracks on message boards, on blog comment sections, and on wikis. There were warnings from so many people who said a hysterectomy ruined their sex drive, their life, or their wife.
"My wife was a beautiful, vibrant sexy woman before her surgery. Now she's a withered shadow, an empty husk of the person she once was. I would do anything to go back in time and stop the surgery. I would do anything to have my beautiful wife back."
I started to notice odd similarities though -- not just in the experience being described but in the unusual and repetitive turns of phrase, such as "empty husk" that these apparently diverse sources would use to talk about their experience. Then I started noticing crazy turns of phrase, like "you should kiss the ground the HERS foundation walks on." It eventually became apparent that many of the users on, for example, this Health Board for hysterectomy discussion (Mollyfox, Elaine333 and Triple777) are most likely the same person.
The talk page at the back-end of the Wikipedia article on hysterectomy shows a long, persistent struggle between persons trying to keep the page factual and neutral and someone who keeps changing the text to make it scary and confusing. This person would add, for example, the phrase "female castration" whenever possible and contribute all manner of tangents.
"It reads like an anti-hysterectomy manifesto," one Wikipedia contributor noted.
"This article seems to have a very serious POV problem," noted another. "It looks like its been "got at" by an activist of some sort."
Indeed.
Please stop being such an asshole on the internet.
Telling women to never trust a doctor who suggests a hysterectomy for any reason whatsoever is not helpful.
It saddens me to think about the number of women who die every day because they don't have access to hysterecomies. Cervical cancer is a huge killer of women in the third world. It's a shame. If there's just one woman who did have access to a hysterectomy but chose not to because she was terrified by what you posted at www.hersfoundation.com or www.hysterectomyconsequences.com/ and died because of it, then shame on you. That's on you.
It saddens me to think about the number of women who die every day because they don't have access to hysterecomies. Cervical cancer is a huge killer of women in the third world. It's a shame. If there's just one woman who did have access to a hysterectomy but chose not to because she was terrified by what you posted at www.hersfoundation.com or www.hysterectomyconsequences.com/ and died because of it, then shame on you. That's on you.
Terrorizing women who are about to have a hysterectomy and turn to the internet for information and or consolation is not noble. Whatever ordeal they are going through is probably scary enough without your help.
Why don't you go harass women who have breast cancer or appendicitis for a while? Tell them how they'll love their children less and probably want to kill themselves after their surgery.
Consider anti-caesarean advocacy. I definately fall into the camp that would like to see the c-section rate lowered in North America. I rally for more awareness of the cost of surgical birth to mother's and to their babies well-being. And I applaud some of the really wonderful VBAC and cesearan awareness advocates out there. What they do is tell women that their birth experiences, their bodies, and the way they feel about their bodies and their births matter. What they don't do is insinuate "facts" all over the internet such as "women who have c-sections will never be able to enjoy orgasms again", "women who have had c-sections are less because of it" or "c-sections are unnatural and leave women horribly disfigured."
Consider anti-caesarean advocacy. I definately fall into the camp that would like to see the c-section rate lowered in North America. I rally for more awareness of the cost of surgical birth to mother's and to their babies well-being. And I applaud some of the really wonderful VBAC and cesearan awareness advocates out there. What they do is tell women that their birth experiences, their bodies, and the way they feel about their bodies and their births matter. What they don't do is insinuate "facts" all over the internet such as "women who have c-sections will never be able to enjoy orgasms again", "women who have had c-sections are less because of it" or "c-sections are unnatural and leave women horribly disfigured."
You empower women by giving them facts, not by flooding them with fear.
Your advocacy has crossed the line from helping women to harming women.
You have personally caused me a lot of very real pshycological harm and pain.
You have personally caused me a lot of very real pshycological harm and pain.
Please reconsider your mandate. Do you want to make money selling books? Do you want to terrorize women who are undergoing a painful transition in their lives? Or do you want to empower women? I hope you choose to work towards the latter. To do so, revisit your tactics. And please stop being such an asshole on the internet.
Sincerely,
Betsy
wow. I knew about your surgery and certainly understand your fears about it. I had no idea that this was a topic that was even remotely debatable– either you die or you get a hysterectomy. Seems like a straightforward but difficult choice.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why people get caught up in causes like that, ones that are obviously A) WRONG, like science WRONG and B) hurting others. Does that person really believe that crap? Do they just want to hurt others? Are they just living out their own messed up feelings? Regardless, I hope other women are smart enough to see that it's bullshit.
Betsy,
ReplyDeleteYou gathered information about hysterectomy and made a decision that you feel was right for you, to undergo a hysterectomy was right for you.
Every woman, whether she has heavy bleeding, fibroids, prolapse, cancer, post-hysterectomy problems or any other issues related to her female organs, deserves all the information required to help her decide whether to be treated -- and if so, how.
In your blogpost you attribute statements to HERS that you say are incorrect. For instance, you said "HERS claims, for example, that a women without a uterus can't manufacture oxytocin, the love hormone responsible for maternal bonding. They are wrong." You must have HERS confused with another organization, HERS makes no such claim.
The information in the video "Female Anatomy: the Functions of the Female Organs" is anatomical fact. It was vetted by two gynecologists, and a Professor of Gross Anatomy.
The adverse effects of the surgery reflect the experiences reported by 1,000 hysterectomized women.
HERS wishes you good health and continued healing.
Dear Betsy, I know most of the women that post and it is not one person. In fact, if you want, you can get most of our numbers or email addresses from HERS and talk to us directly. It may sound like one person because basically we all have the same side-effects from a hysterectomy and castration. I have a few other symptoms that is not even mentioned; like being sick to my stomach all day long.
ReplyDeleteYou had your surgery just a year ago and it sounds like you needed the surgery to save your life. Alot of health problems start to take place in a few years or maybe 10 years, but problems will arise sooner or later.
No where on the HERS Foundation web site do they put fear into women, only the facts. Women need to know what might happen to them following this surgery. I only wished I had read their web site because I would have known that for fibroids, polyps and cysts there are alternative surgeries. HERS doesn't say do not have a hysterectomy if you have CONFIRMED CANCER. My girlfriend in Florida had cervical cancer and they removed just the cancer leaving her hormonal sexual organs; uterus, ovaries and cervix. That was 10 years ago.
My story like so many others started with bleeding from given medication to control hot flashes. The more medication, the more bleeding. But, we didn't know that the medication was causing the bleeding. Next, came the words, "I think you need to get rid of the bleeding." When I was examined I had only a pea-sized fibroid. I didn't have much to go on only the doctors word that it would be the best thing to do and that it wouldn't change anything about me. He did not give me any alternative surgery because I found out he wasn't skilled in alternative sugeries.
I had gone to cosmetology school with two small boys hoping to have my own salon after five years of working. I graduated with a 4.0 and was on a scale of 1-10; a 20. That is how much energy I had. Five years were done and I was ready to make the move. Then came my surgery which was 22 years ago. I woke up sick and to this day am still sick, plus many of the side-effects mentioned on the HERS web site. I wasn't getting any answers from doctors; only them telling me it was in my head. I was searching for answers as to why I was feeling so terrible when I ran across an article in a magazine by the HERS Foundation. I got my answers.
I tried working another two years, but had to give up the career I loved. I only had energy to raise my two sons and keep up a large home. I would like to say this is usually what happens. Women lose their career, marriage, but most of all, their health and well-being.
Most husbands do say their wife was a beautiful, vibrant sexy woman before her surgery and that they would do anything to go back in time and stop the surgery. Attend a conference and you will hear this said more than once.
If you would attend an HERS Conference you would see for yourself that they are only informing women, not telling them what to do. HERS has helped many thousands of women in the US and other foreign countries.
As far as C-Sections, this is another unnecessary surgery the majority of the time. This could be something you can research and start a foundation informing women about the consequences of having this surgery.
I knew you'd find this letter without me having to draw your attention to it, but truly I'm in awe of how quickly you've found it! Less than 24 hours and your whacktivists are onto my obscure little blog post in the farthest reaches of the WWW. Wow!
ReplyDeleteHERS - your "data" is really bunk. I think you should bone up on the most basic tenents of statistical research such as a "control group" and "double-blind studies". Perhaps you could check out "Designing Experiments Using the Scientific Method for Dummies" from your local library or at least google these terms.
ReplyDeleteYou can't just survey your mailing list of 1000 women who have read your book about how hysterectomies have ruined their life and then blame every complaint they have 10 or 20 years latter on their surgery.
If I showed 1000 women a "Winnie the Pooh" video and then asked them, 10 years latter how many of them have experienced "weight gain", "loss of libido", "burning with urination", and "change in breast shape" I couldn't reasonably conclude that Winnie the Pooh causes changes in breast shape, even if 15% if women reported saggier boobs a decade later.
See how that works?
Betsy,
ReplyDeleteSadly, there is nothing here to debate, if women were given the facts there would be no reason for HERS to exist.
You appear to want to cast dispersions on the organization and women who have been helped by HERS and hold it in high regard, unchallenged. Of course, that's your choice and right, but don't presume you are helping women.
Fact: HERS had held 27 annual conferences before publishing thier book in 2009
Fact: The DVDs being sold are all from projects that have been freely available to the public
Fact: The Adverse Effect Data has been an on-going effort over HERS 28-year history
I contacted HERS after I was given a hysterectomy, without any previous contact with the organization. While I initially explained away the changes that started to occur after surgery - eventually I couldn't do that and I had to find answers. The doctor who performed the surgery, suddenly didn't have any answers and claimed to not have heard any of my complaints before. HERS offers a wealth of research at a nomial fee, to which I added my own research in an attempt to understand what was happening to me.
You were lucky to have come across the HERS information, so at least you had the choice to make an informed decision. For me, I assumed I had a choice and eventhough I did not agree to a hysterectomy I was given one for my benign fibroids.
Hopefully women who come across this blog, will consider all that's been written here as their life and future is really what's at stake.
Betsy, A notice of your blog came in the Google alert that HERS has set up that notifys us when the organization is mentioned on the www.
ReplyDeleteYou can sign into your Google account and select Alerts to receive email alerts on any topic you choose.
Women reported their experiences after hysterectomy between 6 mos.-15 years after the surgery, the majority were between 1yr-5yrs post-hysterectomy.
You cannot have a study with a human control group of women, all of them having had surgery, half of them having had a hysterectomy and half not, and none of them being told if they had their uterus removed.
I hope in time you will educate women about the important life long functions of the uterus and ovaries and not encourage them to undergo a surgery that is over utilized, rarely life saving, and always damaging.
Betsy,
ReplyDeleteOne more thing, I don't know if you came across this in your research, but I thought I would pass it on as it was a little closer to home and a documentary done in 2004 by CBC Television The Nature of Things (documentary includes specialists including a Toronto surgeon)
Sex, lies and Secrecy: Dissecting Hysterectomy 2004
Carol Moore-Ede, David T Suzuki, Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and Filmakers Library, inc
Some medical experts claim that a shocking 98% of hysterectomies are unnecessary. Yet, half the women in North America will have had their ovaries removed by the time they are 65. 1 videocassette (45 min.)
MEDIA 2-7522
HERS: your data is so terribly skewed, it's insulting to all humankind.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, stop conflating oopherectomies (the removal of the ovaries) with hysterecomies (the removal of the uterus.) These are not the same surgery.
Also, stop filling my gmail with letters about how lucky I am to have the HERS foundation to terrify me before my surgery because at least I'm "informed." Information is factual and objective. HERS-formation is skewed and ridiculously one-sided.
I'm not going to read or watch another thing you spew into the universe.
Now.
I know you can't have a blind study in which women don't know if they have had their uterus removed or not. But you could conduct a study in which the women you question don't know exactly what information you want to get from them and women who haven't contacted you expressly because they are traumatized and believe their hysterectomy is to blame for ever ill in their life. You are gathering only worst-case scenario information and presenting it as if it's the norm. It's not. You don't have a category, for example, for increased libido or decrease in pain. Don't a lot of women have a hysterectomy to correct a prolapse?
You also need a control group of women who didn't have hysterectomies in the timeframe you are looking at, otherwise there is nothing to correct for normal occurences in the population. Can you honestly not think of another reason women might experience changes in breast shape over a decade other than the hysterectomy they had ten or fifteen years ago? For reals? Nothing springs to mind?
I'm just a stay-at-home mom remembering what I learned 15 years ago in STATS 101. If you really are interested in providing women with information as opposed to mis-information, it shouldn't be so desperately easy for me to poke holes in your methodology. But it is. Fund some research that stands up to a modicum of scientific scrutiny if you want to educate women.
I absolutely agree that your activist-zeal is impressive, especially considering you must need to spend so much of your time contemplating suicide and leaking feces, as your "data" indicates is the norm for any women without a uterus.
Here's an idea -- what if you actually put aside your juggernaut of a cause for a wee moment and consider, honestly consider, if scare-tactics are the best way to "educate."
Also, it's mind-boggling to me how you and your flying monkeys keep insisting your video must be true because a handful of "medical professionals" say so, yet you tell women to never trust a "medical professional" who tells them to get a hysterectomy.
My doctors worked to lead me out of a bad place. Your foundation has contributed only fear and obfuscation.
If your motives really are to help women, you've lost your way. Do something about it.
Wow. I had never heard of HERS until now, but wow.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of where you fall on a debate, I think that the "don't be an asshole on the internet" advice stands. And coming to someone else's blog in order to leave comments like this is, sadly, assholery.
(Shut up. It is so a word.)
I'm sorry that you were so frightened, Betsy. I'm glad you're using your voice in a way that works for you. It sounds like HERS is using their voice effectively on their own platform, so I hope they can back off and leave you alone on yours.
Betsy,
ReplyDeleteThe title of this post is an "Open Letter", I thought the purpose of such a format was not only public or to provide one's critique, but also to stimulate discussion?? Regular followers may not have heard of HERS and had your critiques actually addressed specific points and positions by HERS, then further explanation could have been provided on their position. That would have provided an opportunity for everyone to learn.
No one has attacked you?? But you have attacked an organization before understanding thier position and mission. The orgnization has a 29-year history with woman from all walks of life, on the issue of hysterectomy, many discussions with medical/legal/research authorities, and reviewed the medical literature. Can either of us say the same??
I think HERS is in a position to provide a POV that would be worthwhile to consider, at the very least. I think the only things that combat fear (which is actually fear of the unknown) is truth and information, which then allow one to see their way clear no matter which path is chosen.
It really does sound like all the pro HERS comments above is the same person just pulling stories out of their files... Just saying.
ReplyDeleteAlso, isn't the HERS foundation supposed to help women going through this procedure? Shouldn't you feel something for this poor woman that you scared the crap out of instead of helping? She is the reason your foundation exist. Atleast an apology is owed to her regardless if thy change anything or not. They have obviously done the opposite of their purpose for this poor woman.
All commments under my name have been my own as a woman 14 years post-hysterectomy.
ReplyDeleteI remember when my sister was having her first child (and I had not had any at that point either) - so it was first for the both of us. She read "A Good Birth, A Safe Birth" authored by two non-MD women. The book covered a wide-range of issues involved in the childbirth process and most specifically warnings. From doctor training, medicine and money, doctor interventions, avoiding c-sections, sexuality of pregnancy and birth, knowing your options (or as the author puts it - if you don't know your options, you don't have any), etc.
My sister took this information to heart and took certain measures including delaying when she went to the hospital once labor started. Nothing in the book was anything her ob-gyn was telling her nor the folks at the birthing center. Now critiques of the book are of course objectivity, the fact the author's were not doctors, and isn't it frightening to learn about all the minestones associated with birth - but I have a very beautiful, talented, and intelligent niece and would whole-heartedly recommend the book.
This is in the same vein that I would recommened the information at the HERS site.
This issue affects women at epidemic levels, so it does sadden me if women aren't helped which is why I made a promise to myself to simply tell the truth of my experience.
HERS whacktivism shares NOTHING in common with the natural childbirth movement. HERS is about terrifying women, dubious science, and a message of hopelessness and despair.
ReplyDeleteLike this comment, from Gracie: "You had your surgery just a year ago and it sounds like you needed the surgery to save your life. Alot of health problems start to take place in a few years or maybe 10 years, but problems will arise sooner or later. No where on the HERS Foundation web site do they put fear into women, only the facts."
Do you SERIOUSLY not see the irony there Gracie? For realsies?
The natural childbirth movement is about empowering women to respect their bodies and their abilities to make informed choices. That is NOT what HERS is doing.
If anti C-section activists made a video about how terrible C-sections were, promised women that they would have a C-section unless they gave birth at home in their closet by themselves, promised them that if they had a C-section their sex life would be over for ever, that they'd probably be incontinent for the rest of their life, that they wouldn't love their babies as much as other women do, and that they'd probably want to kill themselves, and then insisting that every pregnant woman in the industrialized world must have that important information before they gave birth, then we could draw some comparisons.
Oh wait, you'd also need to set google alerts so that anytime anyone mentioned being pregnant on the internet, your flying monkeys could leave a comment or send an email about how you were pregnant once, and then you were c-sectionized (which is as much of a word as hysterectomized is, by the way) and ever since you've been an empty husk of the woman you once were, your life is a total shambles and you can't hold down a job because of the explosive diarreah that all women who have had c-sections have, and that you'd give anything at all to be able to go back in time and give birth in a broom closet all by yourself.
Does that sound empowering?
Oh, and to women who have had c-sections, offer no support or hope.
Oh, and of course, if a woman ever claims to have survived a C-section and insisted that she'd recovered, she loved her baby, and was able to use a toilet like before and is enjoying her sex life, you'd have to write her several emails about how she should wait 10 or 15 years but at some point, she'd realize her life was forever ruined.
FUCK YOU SO MUCH HERS FOUNDATION.
What I'm trying to tell you here is to treat women like human beings. To try, please, to understand my POV of view as a HUMAN BEING.
Also, for the record, my husband still thinks I'm a vibrant, sexy women, you dumb-asses.
The only "fact" the HERS foundation is proving is that you don't need a utereus to be a gigantic asshole on the internet. But who doesn't know that?
Also, do you know who else was impressively organized with a large membership and had lots of input from medical/legal/research authorities and had all their propaganda vetted by experts so that it was "factual?"
ReplyDeleteThe Nazis, you assholes.
Wow. A lot of adoptive moms are sans uterus. And Grandmothers and all post-menopausal women and oh yes, MEN, might lack those hormones but last I checked they are all capable of LOVE.
ReplyDeleteFirst you run HERS down, then you take comments off that supports unnecessary hysterectomy/castration. What I commented on was definitely the truth about this damaging surgery. I am sorry you feel you have to lash out at someone because you are hurting so bad. I know the feelings after my hysterectomy. My life is and never will be the same.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you talking about Gracie? I didn't take any comments off.
ReplyDeleteAre you talking about the personal emails you
sent me that asked questions like, "Why do you want women to have hysterectomies?" If you are wondering why I didn't reply it's because that question does not deserve a response.
I am not lashing out at HERS because I am "hurting so bad." I am telling HERS that they are hurting women by using scare tactics. I'm telling you that you terrified me. I'm telling you that my battle was largely psyhcological and made much worse by the terrifying sputnum HERS has been spewing across the interweb.
I am telling HERS to stop using scare tactics to educate women about something that is scary enough without coming up with theories like "you'll love your children less."
Also, I think HERS should change your name from Hysterectomy Educational Resources And Services to the Anti Surgery & Statistics Horde for Oopherectomy Loss Education ...
because you aren't actually furnishing information about "hysterectomies" you only ever talk about hysterectomy+castration by which you mean oopherectomies, which is NOT THE SAME SURGERY as a hysterectomy. This is a medically relevant point I'm making.
When my mother had a hysterectomy she became even less of a mother than she was before the surgery. I didn't think that could be possible! She went from indifferent, to loathing her children. She's an awful grandmother too. She is more like a man in that its all about her and has a very stunted sense of empathy. The facts of hysterectomy are scary, but reality is scary too. I have not seen anywhere on the Hers website that says that oxytocin is no longer produced after hysterectomy and they make a point of differentiating between hysterectomy and castration because so many surgeons arbitrarily remove the ovaries with the uterus as standard procedure. As the child of a woman who had a hysterectomy, I think you are doing a disservice to women and their loved ones with the misinformation and vitriol in this blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you Betsy for taking on this organization. I have been researching options and have come across HERS repeatedly on the internet. I was immediately struck by their scare tactics. I agree that Hysterectomies are not for everyone, but while reading their information, watching their video, and reading their blogs, I started to feel that their website was trying to push that hysterectomies are really not for anyone. As someone with a medical background, I was struck by the presentation of "statistics" from a questionnaire that blames hysterectomies on everything from burning face to dental problems. A study with a control group would be helpful, matching for variables such as age, other comorbid conditions, and comparing those with or without history of hysterectomy. It would also be beneficial to show statistical significance, power, P-values, Confidence Intervals, etc. But, all they give is a percentage of a certain 1000 individuals over the past twenty years (yes 1000 women in 20 years - that is an average of 50 women per year) who were picked in some way (we're not told how) and basically told that the cause of their problems was their hysterectomy.
ReplyDeleteI have read some of their blogs and find it interesting that if anyone tries to write something positive about their hysterectomy, it is as though the wolves come out to attack. I even saw some of them write that you should never trust anyone who tells you their hysterectomy was good for them because they are probably too ashamed to admit they were fooled into getting one. I guess I can no longer trust my mom, mother-in-law, multiple aunts, and sister-in-law, as well as some close friends. All of whom are years out from having theirs.
Finally, I find it interesting that if you actually want to get info from a "medical journal article" it only tells you the topic and then requires payment for it. You can go to PubMed and find full medical articles for free instead, or a local medical library if there is one nearby.
Nothing beats doing your research, getting multiple opinions, and talking with resources that you trust about these issues.
A lot of the misinformation that I'm responding to (e.g. the oxytocin thing) has been zapped from the internet (I'm writing a year later) by responsible medical professionals and other people concerned with truth and science and such, like the volunteers who read and edit Wikipedia.
ReplyDeleteAlso, thanks for commenting Anon. I agree the "don't believe any woman who tells you a hysterectomy didn't ruin her life" thing is very disturbing. Also the emails they are sending me about how sooner or later I'll notice how I'm not really a proper woman anymore.
Instead of just speaking out against hysterectomies they are creating stigma against women who have had hysterectomies. Awful.
To Anon w/medical background:
ReplyDelete- why would the HERS organization need to be taken on, it's a women's health educational organization, providing information for any woman's consideration
- on the survey, the only thing we can assume is that 1,000 chose to respond as it is not a mandatory survey in order to take advantage of the services or information provided by HERS
- I would assume that double-blind studies have already been done by the medical community; how else would you explain the current practice of hysterectomy for benign female conditions, unless there was hard evidence that the benefits outweighed any risks
- as expected, HERS provides the titles of selected medical articles for one to then go to PubMed or anywhere else for additional research or if time/resources are limited, one can order same articles from HERS for a nominal fee
- HERS does not take the position of not trusting women who claim to have had a positive hysterectomy, as HERS displays clearly on their website information concerning female anatomy, allowing for any woman to consider in relation to the surgical procedure hysterectomy. Comments by individual women are provided just like the comments you have made on this blog.
BETSY I THINK YOU HAVE A MENTAL DISORDER... IT COULD BE A RESULT OF YOUR HYSTERECTOMY! if you have an amazing life after hysterectomy good for you but majority of women don't. so spare them.
ReplyDeletealso your picture on the blog shows how crazed you are. so be happy with your hysterectomy. thank god and stop blasting non profits doing good work. you can tell people about your unique experience without ranting about people who help create awareness.
ReplyDeleteI dont understand how a surgery, removing the same organ can cause such divisive opinions...Clearly everyone's personal perspective plays a huge part in the "Hysterectomy" experience...I was confronted with a tough decision about a year ago after diagnoses with breast cancer...Learned I was BRCA2 positive (a gene mutation that increases ovarian cancer risk x20), the recommendation was to have ovaries, tubes AND uterus and cervix removed. I was 53 years old and thought the surgery would not change me and I had alot to gain with the risk of ovarian cancer so high. I read hysterectomy info on the internet. I read bad and good. Anywhere from "multiple orgasms after hysterectomy" to "sex means nothing, my husband left me and I want to kill myself" (these experiences were read from sources other than HERS). I so wanted to feel safe from ovarian cancer so, thinking I could be one of those with multiple orgasms...I consented to the surgery. ALthough I consulted an expert in Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer,
ReplyDeleteI later found out that the Hysterectomy part was "unjustified" per an article my doctor co-authored. That only tubes and ovaries were necessary for risk reduction....I think the general consensus is, the uterus has no purpose after childbearing years..
I feel 50/50 about my decision on the ovaries and tubes but I feel 100% violated with the hysterectomy....Sex is painful, I hope it gets better, Its been a year now.
I wish I had read the HERS website and had consulted someone who had an interest in keeping me whole...I wish, I wish, I wish....
I can't beat myself up, but the truth is the doctors knew the potential outcome of these surgeries and she sugar coated the after affects saying I probably would not feel any different since I was 53 and almost through menopause anyway...That was a LIE...
I feel I was given the sales pitch when I was consulting an 'expert' on Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer. No matter what the reason for the hysterectomy. I should of been given the truth about what I was about to consent to.
Simple as that...
Thanks for trying Betsy! I totally agree with you!
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with you too Betsy,well said!
ReplyDeleteBetsy,
ReplyDeleteI am considering a robotic laparoscopic hysterectomy this spring to remove a 16 week size uterus loaded with fibroids that has delivered three babies all via C sections after a myomectomy. I was severely anemic until I started taking two iron pills a day, and I'm sure that if I ever stop, I'll just relapse into exhausting anemia again. I have a low grade dysplasia which has my OBGYN in a serious tizzy to get me the procedure in order to get a potentially dangerous cervix removed.
I have bumped into HERS several times over the years while I've surfed the net searching for someone out there that could confirm something positive about getting this ratty old thing taken out. GOD BLESS YOU for taking up this battle. I've been creeped out by them from the start, and I totally relate to your angered reaction. Actually I found your blog after leaving their site searching for a rebuttal to their fantastical anti-science.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! Some day when I have long since recovered from my own hysterectomy, I'll reflect on the comfort that your blog offered me in my time of decision making. Keep up the good work.
Thanks so much, Banditsgirl. Good luck on your journey. It`s not easy.
ReplyDeleteThat`s one of the things that`s so annoying about all this HERS nonsense -- of course I have a sense of loss about my uterus. And of course it was a painful thing on every level. But when it`s all said and done, you just have to figure out how to go on being a woman without a womb. It`s just not helpful to be told you are less of a woman (you`re only about 150 grams less of a woman) or that every problem you face forever more is a result of your surgery and that life is now hopeless. RUBBISH!
Every woman will not have the same journey. No woman should be silenced. No woman`s experience should be invalidated.
Did you check out this one:
http://honest2betsy.blogspot.com/2011/03/uterine-orgasms-myth-and-mayhem-online.html
Love and healing!
Betsy
For vicki c:
ReplyDeleteThere is actually no divisive opinions, there is only either an understanding of the current practice of hysterectomy or an unknown understanding of it. The only issue is the medical community's refusal to provide women with the truth.
Some truth's would be:
- the current collection of treatments for benign (normal) female conditions are ineffective
- the amputation or complete removal of the uterus is not the same as the menopausal phase or simply being sterile
- hysterectomy creates permanent injury; and
- removal of central female functions (uterine and/or ovarian) of a women's body does not make one less of a woman, but it is a health diminishing procedure
While any woman may not be aware of these minimal truths and the information provided by HERS, it does not change the lifetime costs.
HERS does not advocate against women's choices, but it does advocate that you be aware of what you are choosing should you deem hysterectomy is your option - and currently this information is not being provided by any doctor, hospital websites, AGOG, or consent forms. This information is every woman's basic right.
Betsy - take your own advise and stop spreading crap on the internet. It is not your job to decide what information other women should have access to.
ReplyDeleteBetsy - Thank you so much for your blog.I am having a hysterectomy this week because of a medical situation that has become life or death, and I was horrified to type in "preparing emotionally for a hysterectomy" in a search box and see phrases like "castration" used in describing it in an attempt to get women to avoid it at all costs. My life is not worth that cost. The anxiety that it caused me to see their over-the-top tactics was so harmful and added unnecessary pain to an already-very-painful process of grieving I am going through this week (and know I will go through after the surgery too). Should women understand accurately the risks, issues and complications a hysterectomy causes? Yes. But no one should EVER tell them that they are less of a woman because of a surgery that they needed (or even a surgery that they chose in some cases) - that is cruel, brainwashing, and dangerous. I am so grateful for your blog and the encouragement it provided me - that hysterectomies are very, very hard to go through...but they are survivable and some women have very positive experiences after theirs. I am hoping and praying I will be one of those women, and seeking out resources (bioidential hormones, acupuncture for hormones and post-surgical recovery, close monitoring by my physician during recovery, physical therapy, counseling, pastoral care, support of friends and family, etc) that I believe will help me in my journey of recovery. Here's to spreading the word about resources like those (and so many others) for women who have no better option than a hysterectomy - and can give them the best possible chance (albeit, no guarantee) for a positive outcome. You were a blessing in my life today by your courage in speaking out and helping empower women like me. Honesty with compassion seems much more helpful than exaggeration with scare tactics...and I pray that even HERS may someday continue their anti-hysterectomy advocacy, but in a kind, compassionate, honest, and loving way instead of in a harmful, terrifying one. I am sad, I am nervous, I am grieving about what my body will go through this week...but I am no longer afraid.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, Hope.
ReplyDeleteI wish you much grace on your healing journey and a speedy and full recovery!
HERS Foundation is the only organization that uncovers TRUE medical facts about consequences of hysterectomy. I WISH I had found out HERS BEFORE my hysterectomy, It was UNDISPUTABLY NEEDLESS & unconsented by me. And I HAVE BEEN & WILL be regretting it for the rest of my "life", it has completely RUINED my health, my sexuality, leaving me a cripple at age 43 ! However, the PROBLEM is: there are women with CANCER, who have to undergo hysterectomy because the surgery SAVES (not ruins) their lives. In such cases, HERS information on hysterectomy IS "scarry" & NOT helping. However, it does NOT mean that HERS should stop what they are doing for women with FIBROIDS, it does NOT mean that we can still ALLOW doctors to LEGALLY perform needless harmful surgeries above the LAW. There are thousands of women here, in Poland, unnecessarily castrated and suffering without end (unless they end their lives by themselves), with all the after-effects as published by HERS in their materials. We can NOT ignore them, otherwise their suffering & ruined lives would be WASTED & in vain. This is exactly what MY husband would say: "My wife was a beautiful, vibrant sexy woman before her surgery. Now she's a withered shadow, an empty husk of the person she once was. I would do anything to go back in time and stop the surgery. I would do anything to have my beautiful wife back."
ReplyDeleteCASTRATION, no matter how it sounds, IS the proper
ReplyDeleteobjective medical description of hysterectomy with/or without ovaries. Even if we are appalled or feel uncomortable by the "name", it does not mean that we will not be expierencing its consequences. I have had hysterectomy 5 years ago & did NOT use this "name" (for obvious reasons), but I have been expierencing all the consequences of castration, physical, anatomical, sexual & mental. It does not work this way, I,m afraid: "Don't name it, so you won't have it, what you have".
It is reasonable and necessary that every patient should and must be informed about all possible
ReplyDeletepredictable consequences of the medical procedure
before she signs her consent. HERS do it, while too many doctors do not.
The term castration has two meanings:
ReplyDelete1) to remove the gonads of an animal
2) to deprive a person of power, especially by attacking their masculinity or femininity
Don't you think that telling women who have had their uteruses removed that that they can't ever be happy/healthy/sexual people again is pretty much the definition of castration? I do.
Stop castrating women.
The situation of women with cancer is very different from the situation of women with uterine fibroids. There is no common ground for them for discussing their issues together. HERS is educating women with fibroids how to avoid hysterectomy. The term "castration" is removing gonads/sex organs, of any living being, human or animal.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought HERS was a useful resource...after reading their responses here however, I think they are stark raving mad! What an irresponsible way to behave about such a serious topic.
ReplyDeleteA lot of responses here, are NOT from HERS itself but also the responses from many other women (patients),some of them - post hysterectomy. Many women are deprived of their uteruses due to a benign fibroid, and they were unaware of the losses, changes they might expect after surgery, or other non-invasive alternative treatments; there is no org. or institution to protect them or to act preventively against "fraud in inducement" used by so many doctors & hospitals, all over the world.
ReplyDeleteYes,it is difficult for the small % of women who undergo hysterectomy for a life threatening problem. Hysterectomy is not always warranted when there is cancer.Some early endometrial and uterine cancer can be treated conservatively. Whether a woman has cancer or not, she has the right to full, accurate information about the consequences of the surgery. The damaging effects of hysterectomy are scary. There are some things in life that are truly scary. That does not mean that the truth should be withheld from women. Should all women be treated like little children who should be guarded against things that might frighten them? It is a maternalistic attitude toward them.Women should not be treated like children, or as though they are too frail to know the truth; the list with losses & changes a woman may suffer from, after hysterectomy, is true and proved by too many cases, complaints.
ReplyDeleteBetsy wrote (QUOTE): "Don't you think that telling women who have had their uteruses removed that they can't ever be happy/healthy/sexual people again is pretty much the definition of castration? I do"...
ReplyDeleteWomen who look for the information in net & find HERS, are mostly the women who have NOT had their uteruses removed YET. They are looking for med. information before they consent to the surgery because their doctors do not provide it. The "informed consent" should include all possible scenarios, the good ones, worse and the worst, based on up-to-date medical science and case statistics. It still can happen that a woman with a fibroid is told by the doctor and induced to undergo a miomectomy (removing a fibroid), and she wakes up without her uterus, and she can not sue the "castrater" because he assumptially "saved her life".
What he did, is not "such a big deal", after all; he had only witheld a minor additional information; that, if there is a hemmorrhage during a "bloody miomectomy", he will have to cut the uterus out in order to finish the operation quicly and save her from bleeding out to death on the operating table.
In HERS you can find the correct accurate information about all the risks of miomectomy, and how to "outsmart" a doctor as such, and not to wake up in shock, deprived of a fibroid - but at the same time, deprived of your precious organ, without your prior actual consent and against your conscious will.
If you want NOT to be a victim of the doctor's dysinformation, manipulation, malpractice, abuse, you have to know all about it..., and HERS is very helpful in that matter.
Before my surgery, I trusted and had relied on the doctors' reassuring statements, "how wonderful life is...with or without uterus, no big difference", and none of those statements has turned out to be true. As a "bonus", I have also had my urinary tracks damaged, my "guts" do not work as before, my job, sex life and marriage is gone. I suffer from profound depression, pre-early menapause, and before I signed my consent, I had been told that "removing a fibroid only, would be my best and most healing choice".
HERS does not tell the women after the hysterectomies that "..they can not be healthy, sexual people anymore". These women are NOT the HERS's target. If there are such women, that's great. They are probably living their happy lives and have no need, post factum, to search in the network for the "wrong, misleading" information how to make themselves feel worse than they do.
Betsy said: HERS, your data is so terribly skewed, it's insulting to all humankind.
ReplyDeleteHers data is not "skewed". We are not speaking of 1,ooo hysterectomized women, used for Hers research and included in Hers statistics, but thousands of women all over the world, reporting so many problems after the surgery.
Betsy, how can you take such a responsibility for the well-being as the outcome of all such surgeries, how can you speak for "all humankind"? You want to be supportive, helping, I know, but attacking the only organization dedicated to helping women in some ambivalent medical situations, is not the right track.
What is really "insulting to all humankind", or "womankind", is the threatening number of needless hysterectomies, or what a woman can hear form the doctor: you do need your female organs at this age any more", and many other deeply insulting "medical insults". The unjustified, profitable hysterectomy performed- is an insult to "humankind". Ignoring women's psychology, delicate complex structure, attacking their souls with a surgical knife, needed or not- is an insult to "humankind". Treating women instrumentally and telling them after the surgery that they "...are probably sick in mind, abnormal, if they can not accept the effects of the surgery and function" - is most insulting to "humankind".
Betsy, in my case, it was all just the opposite.
ReplyDeleteI went to my surgery very optymistic, with no other, but my own intuitive knowledge of the consequences, never searched or read anything about hysterectomy. No HERS scarred me,nothing. The gyns, even less. I did not even know the word "Hysterectomy". I found HERS some time after, when I was trying to find out what has been going on with me, but in no way reading HERS was detrimental for me. Vice-versa, I was "happy" to find out that I am not some kind of a unique "lost case", and not the only intelligent woman who had made this mistake.
banditsgirl you said"I have a low grade dysplasia which has my OBGYN in a serious tizzy to get me the procedure in order to get a potentially dangerous cervix removed."
ReplyDeletePlease do your research on low grade dysplasia.. Every woman has low grade dysplasia at some point in her life. It is so common it is considered normal. Your doctor like so many others is trying to put the fear of some "potential cancer" into you just to convince you to have the hysterectomy. I've seen this tactic been used before.
Of course I bet you don't believe me. Just google Angela Raffle or Professor Baum- two cancer screening experts and understand how common cervical dysplasia is how rare cervical cancer is and how inaccurate pap smears are.
A few things:
ReplyDeleteNora, I certainly don't expect an apology from you for my cervical cancer. Not your fault.
An apology for terrorizing me would be nice though. Presenting worst case scenarios as normal and inventing fake statistics to make it appear so and publishing crap all over the internet to make sure women who are considering hysterectomies are terrifying is NOT INFORMING THEM.
I'm not the paternalistic one, you are.
And I certainly don't believe all these nutty stories come from different people.
There is a very obvious pattern whereby somebody out there on the internet leaves a supportive comment on this blog saying that my personal story has helped them or they agree with me, and your Google alerts lets you know, then you deluge my comment board and inbox with worst-case scenarios that are apparently written by diverse women, but are obviously not.
I'm well-used to the flavour and tone of your posts by now and there's no mystery that they come from the same fanatic.
One of the hallmarks of your P.O.V. is the perpetual insistence that healing from a hysterectomy is not possible, that persons who have been "hysterectomized" (not a word, btw) are doomed to a life of depression and disease, and that there is nothing any woman can do about this because her physiology is ruined and this will cause her a lifetime of psychological, physical and sexual misery.
It's such bullshit. It's so insulting and degrading on so many levels.
Turn off you victim mentality for 20 seconds please and try to understand that women with or without uteruses are complex people who don't deserved to be terrorized by your misinformation.
Do me a favour, please, and leave me alone. I don't want to hear from you anymore.
Betsy, I am not Nora or HERS. I am who I am. And I am not a "fanatic". But, on the second thought, if you want to introduce this term, OKey. I am "fanatic" - in the same way as you are - but from my own perspective, how damaging the surgery can be. And I am responsible for my truth and my writing here.
ReplyDeleteWhen you were creating this blog, you should know that there might be some people who feel, think otherwise, with paradoxically different expierences than yours, and some posts might not be in your "flavour", or accusing HERS for "misinformation".
Why do you blindly and persistently deny the posts of those women (like me) who sincerely describe their lives after the surgery as "psychological physical and sexual misery"? Why do you deny a simple truth that HERS is the only organization helping women with uterine fibroids to avoid a risky hysterectomy?
I did not know about HERS before my surgery. Now that I do, I have already helped a few women I know, to avoid hysterectomy and HERS was also helpful. These women are thankful and grateful for it.
Betsy, I would like to assure you that many women are suffering after the surgery indeed, and it's no "bullshit".
There is no point in fighting for the statistics and numbers. No matter if it's 20% or 60% of suffering "victims". What really matters is how to reduce the number of unnecessary hysterectomies. It is a universal problem. And there is such a phenomenon as "the battle for uteruses" with the doctors and HERS is in the underground.
It's like in the war. In the II World War first of all the Jewish Nation was to be exterminated, in principle, but in the whole process, so many other people had to die.
So, even if your feelings have been hurt on the way, in some way, by HERS, on the other side there are plenty of others for whom HERS or "worst scenario" cases were a warning "blessing".
You do not realize, Betsy, that you are a "fanatic" as well, but the only difference is that you are a fanatic from the opposite point of view, your personal view. The women who do suffer all the misery after hysterectomy have the same need as you do - to "shout" it out to the whole world and help others avoid it, just as you feel a tremendous need to convince others about your truth, and from your perspective.
Sometimes, in order to save, let's assume, ten people, on the way one must be "sacrificed".
But in fact, you are not even any such "sacrificed victim". You can be happy that you are among these fortunate women, living a happy life, despite your surgery. Others, don't.
Although I am not Nora or HERS, I will "leave you alone" and your blog, as you wish. I will stay with my own "fanatic" blog, and I don't think that our two different "fanatical" blogs contradict or collide with each other. They only serve two different matters and causes.
Seems to me that two different streams: those with benign fibroids who are being told hysterectomy, and those with cancer. Obviously in the latter case to save soemoens life do the surgery! But Besty you seem truly upset by the foundation, as you say they imply some sort of less "feminine" nature as a result. Luckily you are not feeling that and I don't think you should feel insulted. As a holistic female, I do find doctors push surgery myomectomy or hysterectomy as "useful," but don't in my experience give the full picture of side effects. I'm grateful to have the full pic negative and positive. I mean how many times has medicine had a "miracle" and then in few years discovered the negative effects and usually no one is punished even if there were serious doubts about the procedure or medication. Lets face it medicine is big and powerful business, and many decisions are not make in the individuals best interest but statistics and insurance policies that push certain "remedies" over others.
ReplyDeleteBetsy I am glad you are doing well and hysterectomy oopherectomy is the right choice for cancer. I suspect your ovaries were left intact I think the real difference comes oopherectomies I have several friends who have thought removing their uterus was beneficial. I however had a complete hysterectomy oopherectomy 14 months ago and it has made my life a nightmare I feel like an old lady at 40 have had severe problems wth anxiety and depression which I NEVER had before surgery I feel as I struggle to get through each day and I am not the mother wife daughter nurse that I was before surgery. This IS lifechanging surgery to so many i was so glad to stumble across HERS in my attempt to figure out what was going on with me. I have seen multiple DRs tried multiple hormones antidpressants meds to get me back to normal. Iam doubtful I will ever quite feel the same my surgery was for nothing thought I had ovarian cancer but didnt. I will do everything in my power to prevent this from happening to other women and especially my daughters.
ReplyDeleteI see the posts from the HERS Foundation are clearly labeled, and I would not attribute any other posts to the organization.
ReplyDeleteHERS needs no defense as anyone who actually reviews the inforamtion on the site will be able to get access to the medical articles that document the issues resulting from the various forms of uterine removal/amputation and/or ovarian removal. HERS then attempts to take these sterile facts and show how they affect women's lives via vehicles from women's own accounts, the play "un becoming", a female anatomy video, and the book "The H Word".
Additionally, because of the unrestrained practice of performing hysterectomy for benign conditions and unconfirmed cancer - HERS advocates for anatomical information to be put into the hands of women and raises awareness concerning Informed Consent.
It's as simple as that, there is no demeaning of women, or scare tactics, or arguments against a necessary hysterectomy, or misuse of the medical term castration:
"female castration
removal of the ovaries, or bilateral oophorectomy; spaying."
I personally would not recommend hysterectomy to anyone. A better strategy would be to employ as many health promoting tactics as one could afford (employing these tactics after hysterectomy is too late), which does not include any known ineffective and health diminishing medical procedures.
And for cancer, one should take the necessary steps to ensure they are dealing with confirmed cancer, and then go from there. But given the rates of reproductive cancer are similar for both women and men, this will affect a smaller portion of the population (if surgery is pursued) versus the current epidemic and society-changing levels of women.
Why some women after hysterectomy do not complain...? because they are told it is all in their heads so they don't speak up.
ReplyDeleteWomen don't speak up because they don't want their husbands (or friends) to know they don't enjoy sex anymore.
Women don't speak up because their friends may call them crazy.
Women don't speak up because it may take years before their bad symptoms appear & they start collapsing.
There is no way you are going to come out of this bloody hysterectomy feeling BETTER, than with your bloody...painful menstruation.In the long run, things are going on in your body that you can't control.
You may be satified at first, especially if you have been bleeding much for years, but you don't have to wait too long before the after-effects take over.
If a woman tells you that having a hysterectomy /castration is the best thing that ever happened to them, they are NOT telling the whole truth. But they have the right not to tell the truth, for any reason, and it's useless to go into this any deeper.
What a very sad person you are.
ReplyDeleteNope. I'm not sad. I'm a happy, joyful person who is glad to be alive.
ReplyDeleteI am angry, though. At you. For being such an asshole on the internet.
Everytime someone comments about how much my blog posts on this subject has meant to them, you post something ranty about female castration and how I'm a liar if I say I'm not miserable.
I think you should look inside your heart and figure out why this is important to you. It might help you be a whole person again.
Betsy
ReplyDeletethank-you for your message. I had a hysterectomy 3 months ago and it is the best thing I ever did. All women's situations are different and I would advise all to get second opinions and as much info as possible. But for me it has improved my life and how I feel dramatically. The HERS stuff scared me too but I am glad I listened to others who were more open minded. I have started going back to the gym with some mild exercises and my stomach is starting to look flat again. Hysterectomy is NOT the end of the world!
Lisa