Wednesday, April 20, 2011

This is my yummy yummy baby son somewhere between 3 and 6 months old. I was looking through some old photos and this one leapt out at me. Well, THE KNIVES leapt out at me. My heart stopped beating for a moment there and I screamed, "Somebody get all those knives away from my BABY! O-M-G!"

Does this photo not resemble something one might have to look at and explain to an instructor what 10 safety violations are going on before he or she recieves their babysitting certificate?

The Bumbo is too close to the ledge, the baby isn't wearing any pants even though he's in the food preperation area and, oh yeah, THE KNIVES AND OTHER POINTY KITCHEN IMPLEMENTS!

I don't think my husband took that course.

What's going on here, if I have to spell it out, is Mommy is elsewhere, probably having some one on one time with baby's big sister, and Daddy is at home with his new son. He's large and in charge. Boys night in.

Daddy is cooking (he loves to cook, halleluia!) -- something that involves chocolate and garlic (wtf?) -- and he was all like, cute cute cute! and he grabbed the camera and voila: this here snap.

I'm tempted to ask -- do you let your husband (or what have you) take care of your babies? I know, I know, it's so sexist it's painful. It kind of makes me want to smack myself on at least one side of my head. But do you?

I do (see above). And I know a lot of women are kind of amazed and jealous that my husband is so involved with the kids. He changes diapers and rough-houses. He lets them do make-overs on him and he takes them fishing.

I love it.

But it does sometimes require between a little and a lot of tounge biting. It requires that I backoff, shut-up, and let him develop his own parenting style, make his own mistakes, and gain confidence as a parent. It requires me that I tune out any of the worst attachment parenting advice that insists if a baby leaves his mommy's side for an hour or two before his first birthday and drinks from a (gasp!) bottle he will become a drug addict and it will be all your fault.

I once took my toddler daughter to the bathroom and discovered that Daddy got her dressed with her panties on sideways so that one of her legs was through the waist, the other was through a leg whole, and her torso was through the other obviously very tiny little leg hole. Disaster? No. Difficult to resist the urge to ridicule him for it in front of our children while howling with laughter and never ever letting it drop? Hell yeah.

It also involves some ego whittling. A mommy's got to quell both worries -- that baby won't be allright and that when she returns through the front door everything will be allright. Perhaps better than allright -- perhaps they'll be having the time of their lives and dinner will be ready.

Baby has lived, I'm pleased to say, to tell the tale. He's two-and-a-half.

And, by the way, it was mole. And it was good.


  1. Yep, I let hubby take care of the twins. I didn't want to at first because I believed, somewhere deep in my sleep-deprived excuse of a mind, that something "bad" might happen if I weren't there 24/7. Well, something bad did happen! I burned out. With an apocalyptic fireball that consumed everything around me. So, after sifting through the remains, I learned to let go and let hubs do his thing. And it is wonderful. It's much easier to survive a few of daddy's learning curves than mommy's breakdown, after all.

  2. My husband is a stay at home dad and has been home since day 1. He truly believes he's the better parent. Sometimes I agree. Husbands can do it. We just have to trust that they know how to treat knife wounds.

  3. Yep, my husband is a stay at home parent as well. And as far as safety, we've both been worn down by our extreme-risk-taking toddler (who has been an adrenaline-junkie since birth). We're both like, "Okay, honey, you can play with the butcher knife. But only for a minute, okay? I need to chop garlic." (Okay, maybe not that bad. But almost. When I saw your photo, I just thought, "cute baby!")

  4. My husband is both very involved and very stereotypical in the bonehead-Dad-moves category. I totally didn't get the memo that I had to bite my tongue. I ream him out for all of it, and then go on my merry way. Hey, if I don't tell him, he won't learn. If that sounds bitchy...wait, when did I ever say I wasn't a bitch? :)

  5. I am not so good at biting my tongue. But I try, I really do.

    It's just a good thing kids are resilient. Because when I think back to my own days parenting my first as a newborn, I wasn't exactly a superstar right out of the gate, either.

  6. Sometimes the care (or lack thereof) that my husband provides makes me want to scream. I won't get into details, but there ya go.

  7. Too funny. I get flack all the time for being "too precarious" with Taylor. Just yesterday we got caught in a thunderstorm in the middle of the forest, about a mile from the trailhead. At least I could blame the weather man for that one.

    Just give us a chance, ladies. We might surprise you.

  8. Well, I'm a father and I put in an equal effort when it comes to taking care of my little girl. I'm the designated diaper changer, and as chef-in-residence in my household, I often make baby's meals and feed her. I also tend to handle laundry duties.

    What I don't understand is how many fathers AREN'T involved in the care of their babies. How could you possibly let your wife have all the fun?

  9. Love that I just stumbled upon your blog today. Love that I've been reading back and back and telling myself to stop but so enjoying it. Love this post. And lovin' the comments too.
    And I must say, learning to fully trust my husband (which doesn't mean agreeing with how he does things always) with out kids has been the only way to survive happily. I don't get it when I meet mothers who don't/can't. But then again, perhaps I should be glad I'm married to my love and not theirs! :)
    Thanks for a great blog and for me stumbling on it somehow so I can add it to my reader.


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